Peace Within

I sometimes wish I could just drop everything and go into the most deepest silence and just pray. Just talk to God. Just sit there and listen in silence. I want to just run away from it all and just give it all to Him. The whole idea of just praying non stop for people all around the world really appeals to me. It is not for everyone, I know. I don't even know if I would really have what it takes to just pray incessantly. I know that in my mind I want to do as much as I can to help others, and prayer is so powerful when aiding our brothers and sisters.

I am conflicted in the sense that although nothing in this world is worth giving up my faith, I still feel attached to people. This attachment of sorts, impedes me from truly dropping everything and becoming a nun for example. But our great saints had parents, families and friends and yet they left it all behind. Am I called to do the same?




I ponder this a lot. Or maybe my wanting to escape is just that, and escapade of sorts. Am I turning to seclusion because I do not want to deal with the realities of life? Or am I really called to solitary life in prayer? Find God's will in my life has been truly difficult. At those moments I feel I "have it", I really don't. I do have faith though. That I do have. :)

A priest once told me that I just need to get out there and do something! If it doesn't work out then move on to the next thing! I'm starting to think I need to follow through on that advice. The amount of time wondering if I am truly fulfilling God's plan for me has consumed me, it's time for action now. It's time to really start putting the love I feel for others into action. God willing, I will do just that.


Maria :)