Thought of the Day

As I prepare for Mass, I was thinking of how absolutely beautiful and wonderful, amazing and glorious our Lord is. I mean He has everything in perfect check. I am in awe that I have been given such a wonderful chance to live and to have God as my ROCK. Even when things get tough and my heart and soul start to feel a little distressed. I pray to God and it's as if He couples me in His loving hands and protects me of any harm. I feel such a peace this morning. I can only attribute it to our Lord. No worldly thing can ever bring me this sense of serenity. The Blessed Virgin Mary has me within in her Love and I am grateful. I am loved for all time, for ever, for all eternity. What more can I ask for? How can I NOT share this with others?

Pax,
Maria :)

Amazing Grace

Today was an amazing day for me. Nothing major happened but I met with my Spiritual Director this morning and what a session! I truly am so incredibly blessed and I can only thank God for His love and how He just continually puts people in my life who show me "the way" to peace within. My goal in life is to be a counselor to others who need to find their direction, so going to this morning and receiving such beautiful insight on my own life makes me only want to achieve that goal even more. There is something so therapeutic about just "letting it all go". To really take an deep look into your thought process, the state of your soul, the movements of your spirit and how it connects to God in just everything that surrounds us. I find such joy and peace in sharing my life with others who really know how to let go as well and exchange uplifting and motivating words to one another. I firmly believe that God is Love. He is our just Father as well but even in His justice He does it out of Love.

Today was a miracle in a sense that I was able to be a part of God's Will for me and recognize that moment in it's full splendor. Nothing remains a huge question mark. It's now all about completing sentences. I've always been afraid of "blanks" in my life and feeling this need to fill them all in and most of the time my "answers" to these blanks have been wrong wrong wrong!! Why? because I am not supposed to fill them in! :) The blanks are there to be filled by God at His time and with His will. I tell you, I learn more and more about myself and of life and God every day. I pray daily that God will guide me and show me the way.

I found encouragement, hope, faith, love, compassion, knowledge, insight and understanding today in God working through my spiritual director this morning. I am so blessed. So loved. For a moment there i could feel my light dimming, not too much but still dimming and today it's as if a new flame full of light has come within me to light the way. God is good. Even in the aridity of my souls journey, God quenches my thirst right at the right time. How can I not love my God? our God!!!!

Pax
Maria :)

How True....

I have to go through this Dale Carnegie training for work. It's basically on how to build effective and positive relationships with people overall but of course gearing it to the business world. I have to read this HUGE book :) along w/the training. So I figured, OK let's do this. So I started reading and much to my surprise it is really an awesome book! Just simply talks about how to approach people and how we need to think of others needs first to get what we need too. Anyway, I ran across this quote while I was reading that I just had to share:

"It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring" Afred Adler (Viennese psychologist)

How very very true. I always find that those who are unable or unwilling to be interested in the simple needs of others tend to have a tumultuous life themselves. It must be so hard to live in that kind of mind frame. Detached and set aside from the rest in a nice little secluded cubby hole where nothing and no one can touch you. It just has to be so lonely there. I try to understand how others can show no interest in others, and show concern or affection but I just can't justify it. Especially if they are Christian. I never understood how someone who loves God, understands that Jesus came to show us the way in LOVE, how still people can hate or feel nothing for others. I think it's a human thing as far as not wanting to care because it makes us vulnerable to getting hurt. But imagine if you put yourself out there and you realize it's worth it after all! That there are others who will care back!

But I know that God works His ways in others in His own timing, in His own way, in His own infinite wisdom. I cannot judge anyone all I can do is care for them just the same and hope that they too come to the same realization that I did many years ago. That Love is the answer and God calls us all to love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Pax
Maria :)

Need I Say More?

This is today's daily bible reading. I just am in awe of how perfect this covers what we ought to do. I just had to post it, love is the answer...it ALWAYS is. How great is our God indeed!!

Pax
Maria :)

Luke 6:27-38

"‘But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.

29 If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt.

30 Give to everyone who begs from you; and if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again.

31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 ‘If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.

33 If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.

34 If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again.

35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.

36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

37 ‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven;

38 give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.’"

Happy Go Lucky....Not So Much

I sometimes, well, very often give off the impression to others that I am Miss "happy go lucky" what in incredible misperception of me they have. Do not get me wrong, I am joyful for the most part. I know that my faith and God sustain me in this joy for if it were left to me I would feel as if I were a complete failure. I know that I am nothing without God and the wonderful gifts he gives me through His grace. Am I happy? No. And this is not necessarily a bad thing. Happiness in this world for me, is unattainable, there lies the real facade. Things of this world do not make me happy...at all. I enjoy many things this world has in the form of our wonderful planet and the many treasures it possesses. But as far as things of this world, the material aspect of it all, I have never been attracted to this part of life. I am rather simple when it comes to what makes me happy here. There are certain things that bring me great bouts of joy, such as looking at the stars and being part of this infinite universe of ours. I also find joy in walking, I could with for ever. I love nature and the beauty it offers.

I am reading this very "easy read" book called Guidance to Heaven By: Cardinal Giovanni Bona.
It is an amazing book. Very short in legnth but very powerful in content. It just breaks it all down for you and really brings the message home regarding how uncertain it ALL is here on Earth. That we need to really fine tune our stay here and how we deal with our vices and our way of looking at the state of our souls. It's message conveys a solitary feel. It really focuses on letting it all fall away. Do not get attached to anything here for nothing is really ours. How very true. I find myself attached to people for the most part. Not in a needy sense but more of a concerned sense. I am always concerned that others are "ok" and there really is no need for that concern on my part because that worry, concern or care will not change them or the situations that will occur in their lives.

I realize in reading this book and even while reading Self Abandonment to the Divine Providence that I need to strip myself of all that is of this world. I need to really wrap my mind around the idea that I am to do God's will as He sees fit not as I want it to be done. That things that do not occur are out of my control and that I HAVE to be ok with it. I have somehow lost sight of my solitary side. There was a time when I once would completely retreat from everything and everyone iwthout thinking twice. But now, somehow I'm back into the personal attachments with people. Don't get me wrong, helping others is what I know I must do, through God's direction. I also don't believe in the extremes such as shutting myself in a room and not socializing as I am not helping anyone that way (unless I am in complete deep contemplative prayer for others). But I also don't feel I need to be out and about all day either. I must find a balance in there somewhere.

If people really knew me. They would see a very contemplative person. Sure I have a smile for all to see and that is genuine for sure. As I feel God's presence in my life always and I can't help but to smile. But deep within I also carry the burdens of caring so much for others and their "issues" are on my mind as well. If I see sin, or a misguided soul, I feel sad as well. I feel guilty at times when I am having a good time knowing that others are not. What should I be so happy about? Have I checked in w/the state of my soul? Should I rejoice when I become lukewarm, or I neglect to do things for God through sacrifice? Is it really complete? my souls joy? no it is not.

I feel for others because that is how God made me. I can't help that. I can try to see how others may treat me and say "wow what a jerk" or "why did they have to do/say that to hurt me?" but as that initial "sting" is felt in my heart I also feel an overwhelming amount of love and urge to forgive and pray for them. why? because deep down I know they too struggle with the state of their souls. I know that when someone is mean it's because they know no better and its a defense mechanism. It's much easier to resent than to forgive but to forgive is a truly incredible thing to feel and experience.

It is easy at times to think about the su ffering of this world and get caught up in the negativity. But that is where my faith kicks in. that is where my love of others says to just hold on and have faith in the good others possess. I don't delude myself and live in a world where I feel everyone is happy and as long as i pretend to be happy then all will be fine. NO way. I am very realistic. the thing is, that although things look dim at times I know that God gives us strength and He has something in store for everyone in His Mercy and that is always going to be something good.

All I know is that I need to get back to basics again. I need space to infuse myself with love, peace, humility, courage, faith and perserverance. I cannot acheive this by surrounding myself with insignificant distractions. I need to hear God's voice clearly n my heart. I just feel He is saying so much and I can't really hear him. How awful is that? You see? and there you have it. Happy for what? I can't even take time out to listen to God. Pathetic I am, this is true. But I won't give up. I will keep coming to Him time and time again until I get this right. Here goes antoher go....


Maria L(

The Heart Feels It All

Sometimes I don't know if it is a blessing to be given a heart that feels it ALL. I have no idea why I just take on every one's heartaches or discouragements and then in turn try to make it "all better" for them in any way possible. I feel as of God has blessed me with the char ism of giving. I truly believe that. But it is so hard for me to see those suffering around me and not feel that suffering right along with them. I wonder if God wants me to be of service to them or just to suffer along with them spiritually as to alleviate some of that suffering by sharing their pain through prayer. I pray incessantly for them and for the return of their joy and peace of heart yet it's just inundates me at times. I find refuge in God and his Love for me. I ask daily for his strength and that the Holy Spirit may illuminate my soul. I need to know, I guess, that by praying for these souls that I am doing something good for them even if they shut me out.



I try so hard to share the love within with others in form of verbal communication but if that door is shut then I can't enter other than with profound prayer and contemplative mental prayer. Does anyone know what I am talking about???? sometimes I want to scream that out at the top of my lungs!!! Do my words not make sense? is it really that foreign of a concept or idea for others to understand that Love is something that is to be shared?. The only comfort I find these days is that of our what our great saints left behind. Their writings, their feelings, their despair, their confusion and their enlightenment when they left themselves completely open to the Diving Providence, the divine action of God. It's as if i speak another language and they are the only ones who understand. I am NO saint or mystic by any means. but i understand what they are saying when they speak in terms of the soul and how she speaks to God and NEEDS God. I see souls all around me. The problem is that i see my own soul and I wonder what state she is really in. Is she sustained in grace? Am i dong what i can to nourish her to lead her "home"? Does she really assimilate what God is telling her and how to go forward?




Ah, the benefits of solitude. I have enclosed myself in a shell of spiritualism of deep reflection of what I am to do and how to focus on God's will yet in that protective layer of God's Love I still find it to be a great need of mine to worry, be concerned, love and reach out to those who are lost or overwhelmed. My heart feels it all. Not because I dictate it to, but rather by a much more greater force that leads my heart to others. In a world overcome by darkness, sin and doubt I find my small flickering light to be fragile. Overtaken by those around me who draw from the light yet I go to my Father to get more direction. Am I to serve others? absolutely.

I read recently n a small book by St. Jose Maria Escriva The Forge "you must place love, where there is no love to OBTAIN love". How true that is. I had to read that several times. you cannot obtain love if you do not do your part- is how i took it. you must plant the seed, tend to it, and care for it to watch it flourish and grow. Love is the answer to all of life's questions. In other words, having God within, love at it's purest is the only way to get attain that love within to share with others. And as fragile as I feel now, and as alone in my mind thoughts as I feel right now, I have to have faith that God is fueling my heart to love more and to give more. I truly feel our hearts were created to love God first and to serve him through serving others with that same love filled heart.

Maria :)

NEVER LET GO

NEVER LET GO
by: THE DAVID CROWDER BAND

When clouds veil sun
And disaster comes
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rise
And hope takes flight

Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Ever faithful
Ever true
You I know

You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go

When clouds brought rain And disaster came
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rose
And hope had flown

Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul Overflows
Oh, what love, oh, what love
Oh, my soul
Fills hope

Perfect love that never lets go
Oh, what love, oh, what love Oh, what love, oh, what love

In joy and pain
In sun and rain
You?re the same
Oh, You never let go

I heard this song many times before but this time, today and this past few weeks it has touched my heart profoundly because I really can identify w/the lyrics. I really know that God never lets go. EVER. He is forever loyal and forever in love with us. What an amazing love story the one between us and the Creator. If only we could see how He sustains us even when we turn away from Him. All He wants is us to "come home" to be aware of His love and mercy. I love this song. The lyrics just match how I feel to a T. Just had to share.

:) Maria